the photocopy

[Scott's Mom:]
Scott Penkava was born December 31st
Weighing in at 9 pounds 9 1/2 ounces
He was the first of my 3 children
The one who caused me the most pain when i gave birth to him
And that's how i knew that he was a special child

[Scott Verse 1]
They say "they never really miss you til you dead or you gone"
So on that note i'm leaving after the song
So you ain't gotta feel no way about Scott so long
At least let me tell you why i'm this way, Hold on
I was conceived by Sue Wilkie and John Penkava
Who lost their love before i was three
Which makes me
A love sick kiddee,  my momma would claim
At nine and a half pounds when i was born 38 hours of pain
Throughout the years i gave her her fair share
I gave her her first real scare
I made it from birth and i got here
She knows my purpose wasn't purpose
I ain't perfect i care
But i feel worthless cause my shirts wasn't matchin my gear
Now i'm just scratchin the surface cause what's burried under there
Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared
I went to school got good grades could behave when i wanted
But i had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted
Hold on

[Scott's Mom:]
Scott was a very shy child growing up
He was into science
And a funny story is
At 4 he ran away from home
For two weeks at that
Isn't that special?
But, i noticed a change in him when me and my husband broke up

[Scott Verse 2]
Now all the preachers couldn't reach me
And my momma couldn't teach me
Enough to match the pain of my god not seeing me, SO
With that disdain in my membrane
Got on my goth game
God is dead my defense came
Then comic store introduced me to the game
Nerd kids and the role playing games
I'm a punk kid now
My gear is black and i'm livin' outside crowd
And all the black lipstick white skin girls is lovin me now
My self esteem went through the roof man i found my bag
Got to an arts high when public got bad
Talking philosophy and marxism at school
No more pariah girls think i'm cool
I'm getting ahead of myself, by the way i made art
That came second to me taking this crap
Gimme a second i swear
I will say about my art career
Til 96 came austin i'm here
Good-bye

[Scott's Mom:]
Scott use to be in the kitchen
Playing with legos and talking
And um, until the wee hours of the morning
And then i bought him some construx
And his sisters said that he would drive them nuts
But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble


[Scott Verse 3]
Good-bye to the game all the sports, the adreneline rush
Your blood boils you in a spot knowing jocks could rush
And you in a drop your so easy to touch
No two days are alike
Except the first and last pretty much
And "trust" is a word you seldom hear from us
Punk kids we don't sleep we rest one eye up
All alone can define a man, when the friends dry up
You learn to work yourself without workin, out of trust you'll die YUP
And kids tore themselves up looking for acceptance
And little brothers emulating and lookin'  up
To show others their accepatnce
And this was the stress i live with til i decided
To try this art shit for a livin
I can't pray i'm forgiven
For every bad decision i made
Every game i played
Cause i'm still paranoid to this day
And it's nobody fault i made the decisions i made
This is the life i chose or rather the life that chose me

If you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you'll love me when i fade to black

If you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you'll love me when i fade to black
[repeat 2 more times to fade]